Sunday, August 17, 2014


जैसे शांख होती है ना बिना पत्तो के,
जैसे सर्दियों में माटी होती है, बारिश के इंतजार में,
जैसे पत्तझड़ में धरती होती है सूखे पत्तो से पटी,
पर सूरज से वंचित,
जैसे पूर्णिमा के चाँद पर बादल छा जाता है कभी कभी,
जैसे मछली होती है पानी के बाहर,
ऐसा ही है मेरा अस्तित्व तुम्हारे बिना,
तड़पती हूँ मैं,
छटपटाती भी हूँ,
दिल को ढाढ़स देती हूँ ये सोच कर,
की मेरे पास नहीं हो तुम, तो क्या हुआ,
मुझे पता है,
मेरा प्यार तुम्हारे अंदर से झांकता है,
तुम्हारी परछाई में मैं झलकती हूँ,
तुम्हारी मुस्कुराहट में मैं खिलखिलाती हूँ,
तुम्हारे हाथों की रेखाओ में मैं थिरकती हूँ,
तुम्हारे आसपास जो हवाएं चलती है ना,
और कुछ नहीं है वो,
मैं पुकार रही होती हूँ तुम्हे,
वहा तुम्हारी पलकें झुकती है, यहाँ मैं नदी की तरह मुड़ती हूँ,
तुम मेरे पास नही तो क्या हुआ,
मैं ही अकेली नहीं,
वो गीत भी सुर ढूंढ रहा है अभी तक,
उस फूल को भी पता नहीं कि किस रंग का वो खिले,
चिड़िया का वो बच्चा फुदकता हुआ गलत डाल पर जा बैठा है,
उस लड़की की कलाइयाँ भी ढूंढ रही है वो सुनहरी चूड़िया,
पर मैं तुम्हे कैसे समझाऊ,
माँ होती तो रो देती,
पिता होती तो डाँट के बताती,
बहन होती तो थोड़े नाटको से समझाती,
भाई होती तो थोड़ी मार से बतलाती,
बीवी होती तो रूठ जाती,
बालक होती तो गले से लिपट जाती,
मेरा तुम्हारा क्या रिश्ता है पता नहीं,
मेरे पास अगर कुछ है, तो बस यही चंद शब्द,
इन्हे ही मेरा प्यार समझना,
इन्हे ही मेरी मल्हार,
ये शायद बयां कर पायेगे मुझे,
और जो ना कर पाये, तो जाने देना,
बस एक गुजर करना,
सूरज की वो रौशनी बन कर गिरना मुझ पर,
की मैं इन्द्रधनुष बन कर छा जाऊ इस आसमा पर।

Thursday, August 14, 2014


तुम दूर हो फिर भी खुद को पूरा महसूस करती हूँ मैं,
तुम्हारी बिखरी बिखरी सी खुशबू है घर में, 
उसको इकट्ठा करती फिरती हूँ मैं,
तुम साथ नहीं सोते, पर रजाई में सिलवटें तो वही है,
तुम आगोश में नहीं लेते, 
पर मेरे शरीर में सरसराहट तो वही की वही है,
तुम देख नहीं सकते,
पर सँवरती तो मैं रोज हूँ,
तुम चूम नहीं सकते,
पर आँखें बंद कर इंतजार तो करती हूँ मैं,
हाथ बढ़ा कर बाँहों में भर नहीं सकती तो क्या हुआ,
तुम्हारे इंतजार में हर एक पल के साथ पिघल तो सकती हूँ मैं। 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Another one, for you.

If I am sick or well,
if I am busy or free,
if I am myself or not,
you are my first thought in the morning.
I smile when I remember your face,
the more I think about you,
the more I fall for you.
The more I love you,
the more I wanna love you.
The more I caress your cheeks,
the world becomes more and more beautiful.
The more I hug you,
the more I feel protected.
You have become such a part of my life, 
I wanna encounter the darkest within me,
and turn all that into sunshine, 
sunshine that will keep lightening our lives forever and ever.

For you and only you.

As soon as I opened the door,
you were standing there, looking at me,
yes, it was you,
and I just collected myself,
and went to a corner of the room,
I was laughing and laughing,
my eyes were crying out loud with happiness,
I was amazed,
how could one person, one living soul,
bring so much happiness, so much love, so much joy,
not just to my conscious, but to my unconscious self,
not just to my body, but to my soul as well,
not just to the human in me,
but to the inhumane as well.

Monday, August 4, 2014

Travelogue of a single woman traveller

I wanted to travel. I did not want to travel alone though. As always, I tried connecting with almost all close friends from my phone book and inquired if they were also interested. Everyone had different things and tie ups. Somehow, when I need people to come along, everyone is busy. Maybe I just feel like that and it is not entirely true. Well, what so ever! I had realized that if I have to go, I have to go alone. It is not that I have not traveled alone before and I have some interesting stories from those travels. The previous travel experience was mixed. I had gone alone to a popular honeymoon destination of India, i.e., Munnar, Kerela. Its beautiful weather, mountains, peaks, clouds, tea estates, would make you feel as if you are high up somewhere, not literally, but like high in life. My experience was good apart from the fact that a cab driver, while dropping  me at my hotel, at about 9 in the night, asked me if he can stay in my room for the night. The hotel belonged to his cousin. I told him, "No, that is not how it works. You get paid for showing me around and nothing more". Well, this was not what I told him though. I said no, and went inside. I told his brother about the incident and went to my room. That was a difficult night. The hotel was in the middle of a tea estate, on the top of a hill, and my room had multiple big glass windows. Somehow, I got the idea, that he might try to break in or something. I informed a couple of friends about the incident, gave my address, kept my pepper spray near my pillow, locked everything properly, and using the powers vested in me by the gods of sleep, slept like a child.

Maybe, that is why I was a bit skeptical going alone. Then, I stumbled upon a series of blogs by solo woman travelers. I realized that it is not just me who do not find travelling companions easily and it is a well known problem. The difference in me and others were, they had accepted this and I still needed to. I shook off all the hesitations I had from before and decided to go for it.

I decided to go to Goa. I spent quite some time to finalize the place as I had a few peaks in my mind that I wanted to climb. But, it was almost monsoon, and after much contemplation I decided against the trekking trips. Someone once told me, that if you are going to a new place, you just need to plan two things beforehand, a ticket and a hotel/place to go once you reach there. To this day, I follow that advice. I booked a room in Panjim, Goa and boarded the night bus. What followed was a couple of days of amazing fun and a life time experience. I regained my faith in travelling alone. 

Here are some pictures from the trip for your entertainment. 

In some colorful market. Wow, colors make my day. 
From the top of Altinho Hill

The greenery  and the hidden hut in the middle :)

No leaves, only flowers.

Custard Apple. I get excited whenever I find it somewhere as I have its plant at home. It does not bear any fruits though.

Entry to Reis Magos Fort.

View from the fort. 

Yup, that is me. Inside the solitary confinement cell.


An interesting temple I visited.

Port Wine @ The Upper House

Prawn Samarachi Kodi @ The Upper House

Lights and Mandovi, together at night.

Ferry time.

I do not now what I like about this pic. 

I don't know what am I trying to capture here.

Cycled up to the Reis Magos Fort. Trying a pic while cycling.

Fish Thali @ The Ritz. The restaurant closes at 3 PM . I got a place to sit on my second visit. They gave me a place on a table where a family of 3 was eating. Nice family from Mumbai. :)

Sunset @ Miramar Beach. Sunsets make me romantic and thoughtful.

      Wine @ The Black Sheep Bistro. This is a very nice restaurant opened 
                up recently by a brother and sister pair. Cuisine is Goan  - Western Fusion. 
   I had such an amazing dinner there. I was alone and had planned to 
         write but there were these sweet retired people sitting on the next table 
and I talked to them the whole time. 

Kosher in Orange Beurre Blanc sauce @ The Black Sheep Bistro. It was amazing.

  I forgot the name of this fruit but it was very yummy. The hotel owner took me and another
guest at the hotel, to his house in the village which he had recently bought. 

Jackfruits @ his house :)

Travelling alone was a lot of fun. Actually, it also depends on the kind of place you are in. I had completely different experiences in Goa and Munnar. In Munnar, people were surprised to see me alone and were curious to know why was I travelling alone. They asked if I had fought with friends and family. Walking alone in the streets around, I noticed that people were looking at me differently. Generally, I did not care but I cared when the cab driver asked me that question. Just because I was alone, he thought he could sleep with me. I had been very kind to him the whole day and maybe that was something he interpreted incorrectly. 

To travel alone, you just need to be a bit more realistic, prepared and cautious. Obviously, you should love travelling. Travelling alone is not a good concept for people who like to visit a new place and complete the standard itinerary with friends and family. Because then you will get bored alone and you will feel uncomfortable. Travelling alone is good for people who want to meet new people, understand new culture, new cuisine, immerse in that culture for a while, be accepting towards what ever that place is offering, and explore new untrodden paths. It is for people whose aim is not to tick mark places out of a list. It is for people who are ready to stay in a particular place for a while and give it the time it deserve before moving onto another one.

Look far off.

There are both pros and cons of travelling alone as there are for every other thing. First of all, you need to be that kind of a person and a travel enthusiast. Secondly, you can not avoid the fear of being alone and running into some danger. The fears are more if you are a woman. Believe me, just understand that those fears are natural and accept them. Prepare yourself in case you have to face any one of them. Smartly choose the city or the country you are planning to visit. I would have gone to some other place instead of Munnar, given it was my first travel experience alone (within India).  Goa is the best place in those terms. People do not care much even if you are alone. There are lots of things that you will have fun doing alone and there will be other single travelers as well. As per safety is concerned, I found it to be quite safe. Once, I was going back to the hotel after having my dinner and it was quite late, maybe around 11 PM or so. I was worried and I was wondering if I would reach the hotel safely. Clearly, I had not planned it well and I had just enjoyed a great meal at a very nice place along with some very good people whom I had met at the hotel. They had left before me as they finished their meal earlier. I was walking down the road and few bikes approached me. One of them asked if I wanted a drop. He said I am a pilot biker. First I got a bit awkward but then it struck me. One of my Goan friend had informed me about this concept. There are pilot bikes within Goa which operate after say 10 PM till morning. They drop you to your place and you pay them. The guy was so nice and we searched for the hotel in the night as I took him on a wrong turn but he did not crib about it. So be cautious, informed, and take advantage of what the place offers you.

      OMG! Look at the chilly. We had ordered Dal Tadka, Baingan Bharta and rice. We wanted to eat simple 
but got scared when the food came. 

Make sure that when you are travelling alone, you book a nice place in the center of the city or close to the area where you wish to roam around or explore. Then you would not have to depend upon any kind of transport as such. You would not worry even if you get late while coming back in the night or you would not worry about catching that morning bus. Keep a pepper spray/small knife in your bag. Believe me, it is all worth it. You get so many opportunities to connect with so many new and different kind of people. They will tell you their life stories over a cup of coffee or a meal as if they know you for years. You will do the same. I made friends with a Brazilian girl who was staying in the same hotel as mine. I have lost her email id though. Sighs. I had multiple conversations with random people here and there. I might not be in touch with all of them but it added up to my life experience. While travelling alone, you would not have to worry about anybody else or adjust as per anybody else's schedule. Sometimes on trips I get irritated because people are not ready to leave their rooms. You have to push them to wake up, get ready and what not. Now, you are alone, get up when ever, eat what ever, and do what ever. I had never imagined that I can have such a blast travelling alone.

I realized that you hesitate or get scared of the unknown. You go to a new place, you do not know anybody, you might not speak their language, you do not understand the routes, you do not understand the culture and type of people, and this is all that scares you off.

Shed all those fears and get going. Take it step by step and believe me things do work out. Book a ticket to the place you have been wanting to go for a while now. It is now or never. 

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Young Boy - Part 1

She was wandering down the streets carrying her yellow bag. Maybe, she was looking for someone but she was not sure. She looked around to suddenly find herself among a lot of people. Each one of them looked busy. Everything was so vibrant. She tried to imagine a place without these markets and people, but she could not. She was not looking for familiar faces in the crowd, instead she searched for faces she could become familiar to. Her eyes fell on a young boy who was about 9-10 years old. He was wearing a khaki shirt and a khaki shorts and was running around with a tray full of tea glasses. He was going to each and every shop and was giving tea. When his tray of glasses used to get empty, he would go back to the small, tin shaded tea shop in the corner. He looked absorbed and content in his activities. It seemed as if that was his whole world. He exchanged smiles with everybody, and engaged in conversations with them. She wondered how could such a small boy be so content with selling tea. Instead of selling tea, he should have been going to school at that age. Did he not miss school and the fun that children have at school? Did he not wish to make friends?  

 All these questions were hammering her head from all different directions. Maybe, he had never been to school and he did not even know a single thing about school life. She wanted to talk to him. A loud voice from somewhere nearby came, "Azhar". The young boy with the tray of tea glasses ran to the big guy who was standing in the plastic goods shop and was calling out his name. Their tea had gone cold and he wanted Azhar to replace the cold tea with some hot one. He was shouting at Azhar and was blaming him that he had bought the tea very late to the shop. Azhar, was looking at him intently and was waiting for him to stop shouting so that he could explain. His face neither showed anger nor impatience. He  had calmness and serenity over his face. She wondered from where he had got such tranquility. It was important for her to talk to him. She would have to wait for a long time though. It did not seem like that he was soon going to take a break. She decided that she would come again the next day. She knew he would not go anywhere.

She grasped onto her purse, gave the boy a last glance for the day and started walking towards the main road. She could still hear voices behind her and people shouting out, Azhar, Azhar.

Saturday, August 2, 2014


शब्द ही है जो कभी कभी  नज्में बनते है,
नज्में ही है जो कभी कभी कुछ याद दिला देती है,
यादें ही है जो उस वक़्त को ज़िंदा रखती है।

एक खुशनुमा बहार जैसा वो वक़्त,
एक ठंडी बौंछार जैसा वो वक़्त,
एक मीठे अमरुद जैसा वो वक़्त,
कभी आधा कच्चा लगता है,
कभी आधा पक्का।
सोच सोच कर मुस्कुराती तो हूँ मैं,
टीस सी भी उठती है पर कभी कभी कही।

जैसे सुबह सुबह ओंस से भीगी घांस पर चलने से
छींक आती है ना, पर मजा भी आता है,
जैसे एक प्याला वो पी कर कड़वा तो लगता है,
पर पैर भी थिरकते है,
जैसे बारिश में भीगने पर बाद में ठण्ड लगती है,
पर मन में सितार बजते है,
जैसे खट्टा आम खाने पर गला भारी सा लगता है,
पर नमक और आम नटखट सा बना देता है,
जैसे पेड़ पर चढ़ कर फल तोड़ने से गिरने का डर लगता है,
पर वो फल ज्यादा मीठा लगता है,
जैसे स्कूल में साथ पढ़ने वाले लड़के का नाम डायरी में लिखने से
हिचकिचाते तो है, पर लिखते भी है,
जैसे साइकिल तेज चला कर आँख चुरा कर उसी रास्ते से निकलते है
जहाँ से पापा मना करते है, पर निकलते तो है,
जैसे मम्मी बाजार जाती है तो पीछे से छुप छुप कर दोस्तों को
फ़ोन करते है, पर बातें खूब करते है,
जैसे भाई बहन को भला बुरा कह लड़ाई तो करते है, पर जल्दी
ही सुलह भी करते है,
जैसे अंकल के सिगरेट पीने पर मुँह तो बनाते है, पर आधी बुझी
सिगरेट को छत पर ले जा कर जलाते तो है,
जैसे हर दोस्त से कहते है की तू मेरा सबसे प्यारा दोस्त है,
पर कहते हुए उस सबसे प्यारे दोस्त के बारे में सोचते तो है,
जैसे रात के बारह बजे चाय पीने से संकोच करते है,
पर बिस्कुट डूबा कर पीते तो है,
जैसे पडोसी के बाग़ीचे से फल ना चुराने का दावा  करते है,
पर पके पके फल ढूंढ कर स्वाद से खाते तो है,
जैसे रात में इधर उधर की आवाजों पर सकपकाते तो है,
पर डर ना लगने का दावा भी करते है,
जैसे अपनी पसंद के लड़के का फ़ोन आने पर
उसे पाँच-छः बार बजने देते है, पर मुस्कुराते तो है,
जैसे साड़ी पहन कर ना चल पाने का नाटक करते है,
पर अपने ऊपर इतराते तो है।

ऐसा ही है मेरा जीवन,
थोड़ा डर, थोड़ी शरारत,
थोड़ी मुस्कान, थोड़ी हँसी,
थोड़ी धूप, थोड़ी छाँव,
थोड़ा साथ, थोड़ी तन्हाई।