Heights...

Let me just walk,

for I can feel myself then,

I can talk to myself,

Yeah as if I don't do that other times.

But its different you know, 

Its more alive.

The joy is different,

the feeling is amazing.

Maybe its the air that smells different,

or is it the heights that I love?

I guess I will never know,

but do I care?

Well let it be the cold,

or the sharp wind,

or those foggy mornings.

Who knows what makes my heart skip,

it may be the starry nights,

or the howl of the wild animal away,

or may be too close.

The water was cold,

so I just barely touched,

the fire kept us alive,

so I collected the wood.

Snow had different plans,

but they can change,

as long as you love the wind,

and can smell the air right.

I will go soon,

and I will go again,

I will walk alone,

I will find my way,

I know the winds roar,

and snow carves a path,

the howls will guide, 

and the stars walk along,

I will walk upto the summit,

and look down from there,

I know it would be amazing,

I can feel it here as well.

Mixed thoughts...

Ohh damn! I feel crippled,

I want to but I can't.

Feels like I am trapped,

but don't you worry, 

for I will break free.

I will break free even before you know  it.

I know you think it does not matter,

but it does you know.

We are here for once,

and this is our only chance.

Lets not waste and lets not fight,

lets relax and play 

and then lets play some more.

What did you say?

For I could not hear,

I was listening to something else,

Oh damn! I missed it

and I missed that too.

But don't you worry, 

for I will break free,

I will break free even before you know  it.

And I will let the wind break in and 

let it swirl us around.

Would you like that Oh Dear,

Oh so dear!!

Let me know if you don't.

I don't promise, 

but I will try to listen this time,

and fix it, all right.

Listening?

Pstins sumthing here after a long time...... Have written many in the meanwhile, will try to post some more..

The morning hurry,

With the morning sun shining bright,

Oh man I love this heat,

this absurd warm smell of the mornings,

Well do I? 

I am not sure.

When I walk in, they look at me,

When I stand there, smiling, they wonder.

When I lean, the eyes turn,

When I leave, they don't notice.

Sure she would feel the same,

the look in her eyes reflects mine sometimes,

though she is even more still,

and why is that anger on her face?

Shall I ask? Would it be too abrupt?

Well I am just curious, not meaning to pry.

But who knows what she may say,

what If she gives a look and just turns away.

But there is something which makes me look at her,

something which makes me wonder,

something which I can't but I need to say,

It is driving me crazy.

Shall I not worry, go ahead and talk?

Maybe she wonders and worries about the same,

We sometimes loose it all by thinking too much.

But if we did not, 

would life end the same?

Is it too realistic or is it too dreamy?

Who would know until someone try the same?

Let me be the one, and walk in

Let me be the one and free her from the pain

Let me be the one with an unsaid purpose and name

Balance vs Imbalance

What is life, without any spark in the eye?
Won't it be boring, to not have any issue in your mind?
Would it be cool, if all were friends?
Where would you use, all the english, japanese and french?

Imbalance is rare,
that is what I understand.
Given the law of equilibrium,
how can everything be unfair?

Where is science?
Where are the conservation laws?
I say, rewritten shall be the rules
and revisited shall be, the flaws.

Stories

I build stories. I have been building stories all my life.

Stories that makes no sense. Stories that I build connecting a number of incidents.

They are all in my head you know. Its strange how I don't loose track of them. You know because they are so many. It would be nice if I at least loose some of them. I guess it does not happen because I love them, as they are mine.

At the end of the day you always realize that you love yourself. My stories make me realize that and make me believe that. They let me hold onto myself.

They are like my children. I bring them to existence, let them breathe in my head, keep them there till they are stable enough to come out and then I introduce them to the world. I let them go where ever they want to go. Well there is nothing much I can do about that. But I do want them and others to remember, that after all they are mine. They carry my name with them where ever they go.

I can always trust them, I know they will never betray me. And if they do, I will assume that they were never mine. After all it was not that hard, building them up.

Just a moment, an action, a word, a thought is enough to trigger them. And sometimes that ain't even be real. It happens you know. Maybe its all in your dreams or maybe you are hallucinating. Maybe some one else is making you think that all of this is real.

Your job is just to act like you believe in his thoughts. You have to play along and as a favor, he will let you play. He will let you believe that his dream is your reality.

And the day you break any of  these rules, the game ends.

Random thoughts

Sun is bright today,
birds are chirping,
dogs are running all around,
my stomach is churning.

The day seems crazy,
why so much rush,
at least stop for breakfast,
before catching that bus.

Its fine if you like it,
but do not confuse me,
am already in a whirlpool,
do not at least please turn me.

Run, run, run,
its almost time,
why you making faces,
its not my first crime.

Okay so you know me,
but do not judge,
life has been hard,
let me not have any grudge.

A few days, a few jokes,
a few laughs, a few smiles
that's all it takes,
to keep going on for miles.

How come you think,
I would not think,
when you know me,
and all my blinks.

Its still going,
it always does,
who the hell knows,
whats the buzz.

Miththu :)

I had a parrot when I was little.
Oh he was a completely different personality!
Are you asking me how?
Well I have many stories to tell you.
But first let me introduce him to you,
his name was Miththu
and he was the cutest parrot on this world.

One day I came home from school and he started shouting,
ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta.
I got happy and went to him.
I was playing around a little bit,
when suddenly I saw a big ripe yellow guava,
hanging from a branch of our guava tree.
The branch was so playful,
every time we pushed it outside,
it found its way back inside the balcony.
No, it was not its  mistake,
those were the happy days of the tree,
when it bore more fruit then its capacity.
I removed the guava from the branch and gave it to him.
Oh how I loved feeding  him!

However Mom was the one who I think spoiled him.
I woke up one morning and was amazed to see what was happening.
You won't believe, but there he was, licking her finger,
And what you expect it was?
The fresh butter which she had just made from churning the milk.
I didn't want to spoil the great moment between two of them,
or it could be the laziness of early mornings,
as I went straight to bed and back into my dreams.

Rainy seasons bring a wonderful smell with them,
and drinking tea those times feels like a bliss.
I was sitting in the balcony and doing my homework,
or may be just enacting,
when I saw Mom getting out of the kitchen and going to him.
No, it was not surprising,
Everybody needs tea after a good afternoon nap and so did he.
So she poured some in his small bowl kept in his cage
and came back smiling,
like the biggest task of the day was achieved.
I didn't ask, for I was not allowed to drink tea then.
Yeah, finally I accepted that he was more mature and older than me.

Summer, Summer, Summer.. Oh summer!!
No it meant more to us than just
the ripe mangoes, ice creams, Rooh afza.
It was a time to play hide and seek with him.
Well, I did not played it, but my mom and sister did.
Or you can say it was a different kind of hide and seek.
I used to stand on the chair and
my mom and sister searched him around the house.
He could be anywhere, after all he knew the whole place.
That day I thought he loved me the most,
for he was hiding inside my pants which were kept on a chair.

Now you may wonder that how could he ever get out of his cage,
Well my chacha used to keep his cage open because he couldn't fly.
So he was assured he wouldn't run away.
After all my mom found him in our garden all scared and
trying to hide from everybody.
So he must had really loved my chacha.
No, don't reach to a conclusion so soon.
Every time he brought his finger near him,
he used to bite him very hard.

Sometimes I used to get bored,
because he had just too many visitors.
They all were parrots.
It was not a good thing to ask if they were males or females,                                                              
so I never did but I was sure he was a hit amongst all of them.
Some circled around his hanging cage and some sat on it.
Round and round they went,
to see him all happy and glad.
Well he couldn't fly but he could see
and I am sure that with them,
his thoughts wandered above all unseen seas.

If only wishes could come true and happy times may remain happy.
I came back from school one day to find Mom in the saddest moods
and him missing from the cage.
I thought this could be the hide and seek time
and yes it was, but only with one exception this time,
we were never able to find him again.
Buried he was deep inside the earth,
all silent and still.
My sister told me that he fell in the garden from the cage
and a cat killed him.
We couldn't eat and were all quiet.

Oh my Miththu, my dear Miththu, I miss you so much.
If only I could have seen you one last time,
knowing that it is going to be the last time.
Well, what more to say,
I think it was the most unfortunate day.
I hope you may rest peacefully and
yes I take care of her so don't worry.