Stories

I build stories. I have been building stories all my life.

Stories that makes no sense. Stories that I build connecting a number of incidents.

They are all in my head you know. Its strange how I don't loose track of them. You know because they are so many. It would be nice if I at least loose some of them. I guess it does not happen because I love them, as they are mine.

At the end of the day you always realize that you love yourself. My stories make me realize that and make me believe that. They let me hold onto myself.

They are like my children. I bring them to existence, let them breathe in my head, keep them there till they are stable enough to come out and then I introduce them to the world. I let them go where ever they want to go. Well there is nothing much I can do about that. But I do want them and others to remember, that after all they are mine. They carry my name with them where ever they go.

I can always trust them, I know they will never betray me. And if they do, I will assume that they were never mine. After all it was not that hard, building them up.

Just a moment, an action, a word, a thought is enough to trigger them. And sometimes that ain't even be real. It happens you know. Maybe its all in your dreams or maybe you are hallucinating. Maybe some one else is making you think that all of this is real.

Your job is just to act like you believe in his thoughts. You have to play along and as a favor, he will let you play. He will let you believe that his dream is your reality.

And the day you break any of  these rules, the game ends.

Random thoughts

Sun is bright today,
birds are chirping,
dogs are running all around,
my stomach is churning.

The day seems crazy,
why so much rush,
at least stop for breakfast,
before catching that bus.

Its fine if you like it,
but do not confuse me,
am already in a whirlpool,
do not at least please turn me.

Run, run, run,
its almost time,
why you making faces,
its not my first crime.

Okay so you know me,
but do not judge,
life has been hard,
let me not have any grudge.

A few days, a few jokes,
a few laughs, a few smiles
that's all it takes,
to keep going on for miles.

How come you think,
I would not think,
when you know me,
and all my blinks.

Its still going,
it always does,
who the hell knows,
whats the buzz.

Miththu :)

I had a parrot when I was little.
Oh he was a completely different personality!
Are you asking me how?
Well I have many stories to tell you.
But first let me introduce him to you,
his name was Miththu
and he was the cutest parrot on this world.

One day I came home from school and he started shouting,
ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta.
I got happy and went to him.
I was playing around a little bit,
when suddenly I saw a big ripe yellow guava,
hanging from a branch of our guava tree.
The branch was so playful,
every time we pushed it outside,
it found its way back inside the balcony.
No, it was not its  mistake,
those were the happy days of the tree,
when it bore more fruit then its capacity.
I removed the guava from the branch and gave it to him.
Oh how I loved feeding  him!

However Mom was the one who I think spoiled him.
I woke up one morning and was amazed to see what was happening.
You won't believe, but there he was, licking her finger,
And what you expect it was?
The fresh butter which she had just made from churning the milk.
I didn't want to spoil the great moment between two of them,
or it could be the laziness of early mornings,
as I went straight to bed and back into my dreams.

Rainy seasons bring a wonderful smell with them,
and drinking tea those times feels like a bliss.
I was sitting in the balcony and doing my homework,
or may be just enacting,
when I saw Mom getting out of the kitchen and going to him.
No, it was not surprising,
Everybody needs tea after a good afternoon nap and so did he.
So she poured some in his small bowl kept in his cage
and came back smiling,
like the biggest task of the day was achieved.
I didn't ask, for I was not allowed to drink tea then.
Yeah, finally I accepted that he was more mature and older than me.

Summer, Summer, Summer.. Oh summer!!
No it meant more to us than just
the ripe mangoes, ice creams, Rooh afza.
It was a time to play hide and seek with him.
Well, I did not played it, but my mom and sister did.
Or you can say it was a different kind of hide and seek.
I used to stand on the chair and
my mom and sister searched him around the house.
He could be anywhere, after all he knew the whole place.
That day I thought he loved me the most,
for he was hiding inside my pants which were kept on a chair.

Now you may wonder that how could he ever get out of his cage,
Well my chacha used to keep his cage open because he couldn't fly.
So he was assured he wouldn't run away.
After all my mom found him in our garden all scared and
trying to hide from everybody.
So he must had really loved my chacha.
No, don't reach to a conclusion so soon.
Every time he brought his finger near him,
he used to bite him very hard.

Sometimes I used to get bored,
because he had just too many visitors.
They all were parrots.
It was not a good thing to ask if they were males or females,                                                              
so I never did but I was sure he was a hit amongst all of them.
Some circled around his hanging cage and some sat on it.
Round and round they went,
to see him all happy and glad.
Well he couldn't fly but he could see
and I am sure that with them,
his thoughts wandered above all unseen seas.

If only wishes could come true and happy times may remain happy.
I came back from school one day to find Mom in the saddest moods
and him missing from the cage.
I thought this could be the hide and seek time
and yes it was, but only with one exception this time,
we were never able to find him again.
Buried he was deep inside the earth,
all silent and still.
My sister told me that he fell in the garden from the cage
and a cat killed him.
We couldn't eat and were all quiet.

Oh my Miththu, my dear Miththu, I miss you so much.
If only I could have seen you one last time,
knowing that it is going to be the last time.
Well, what more to say,
I think it was the most unfortunate day.
I hope you may rest peacefully and
yes I take care of her so don't worry.

There?

Is it the time of year when I should worry
or is it when I tred once again on the journey?

Are you still there or are you gone?
If you hear me,
just go, but take away all your memories,
and while you do
just so, please once look back at me,
it will help me hold on without thee.

The road is dusty and the sun is high,
but wasn't it always our destiny?

If I call out loud will you be able to hear?

and if you can't, 

will you still keep trying listening to me?

you know what,

I am not sure what I would have said,

if you had put up the same question to me.

Do you mind, me mentioning your name to others?

no, not as the hero, but as the beholder of my agony.

Ride, ride fast enough so that the dust rising up behind,
may make all this sadness really blurry.

Don't feel my pain..

You don't feel my pain, Well,
With the wind gushing past away, the tree does
With the moon hiding away, the sky does
With the bee flying away, the flower does
With the waves rising away, the sea does
With the dew melting away, the leaf does
With the water drying away, the earth does
With the smoke smoking away, the fire does
With the conquerer leaving away, the summit does
With the bubble dying away, the water does
With the admirer going away, the beauty does.
So its okay if you don't feel my pain.

Untitled.

How I wish I could make you see this other side of me!
How I wish I could make you look deeper into me!

There is this tug of war going inside
One side pulls me away,
And one side pulls me towards thee.

To decide is not easy,
To leave is not what I wish for.
But I guess such is destiny
It keeps playing games with you
And still you can only say let it be.

This feeling brings with it, its own joy,
its own charm.
No matter what confusion it may give,
yet it's the most amazing things that have ever happened to me.

Love is all around. :)

Every time when I see you smile,
my heart starts pouring colors on the canvas of my life.
The colors gets mixed up and dance,
a painting starts building up of its own of romance.

When your voice fills up my ears,
A cool breeze starts blowing,
No matter how hard I try,
I can never stop my thoughts from flowing.

When you hold my hand,
I travel miles with you.
The most beautiful part is, that I do it
without you ever knowing.

Your touch blossoms me in a way,
that no flower could ever imagine.
Up & down, down & up,
throughout my body a soft music plays.

When you look at me,
every part of my body breaths.
Like all have realized,
the reason why they exist.

Your eyes are so intense,
I am afraid of looking into them.
I am afraid that they would catch my gaze,
and they would catch it such, it would never get released.

Your presence secures me,
it makes me feel safe.
But why is it then, I try to run away and go to a place
where you can never follow me ablaze??

Your fragrance makes me dance,
It blows away all my sorrow and tense.
It fills the aroma all around me,
In a way that makes me wanna stay forever in it.

All your promises I keep close to my heart,
the fear of loosing them threatens me.
Your absence I loathe,
what would happen if you leave me?

Wind gushes past my hair,
she makes a noise and teases me.
I keep telling her to sush it down,
go and play somewhere else around.
Don't judge me, its not my fault
I just want to tell you on my own.